programmed and stuck

Is your sex programmed? The art and subtlety of sex

We all know that we are pretty much programmed; what we watch, what we listen to, what we choose to eat, the events that we attend, friends we hang out with.  We are obsessed with what is the latest craze, buzz and if we are not in it we have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).

Due to this programming we are able to go through life without questioning anything, doing the same thing the same way over and over again.

Is there anything wrong with this?

Let’s take right and wrong out of the equation…

Let’s ask a better question

What if you changed and challenged your NORM?

What if you tried something different, changed your habits? Some of our habits work wonderfully for us, for example we don’t want to give up bathing regularly but we may be able to shift up some of our habits up a little.

Change simple things

  • Change the way you drive / walk to work
  • Try a different workout in the gym
  • Brush your teeth with your other hand
  • Get your coffee from different cafes
  • Wear the other clothes in your wardrobe – you know the ones (we tend to wear the same small sample of clothes all the time)

Is your heart beating faster, just by reading this?

Our habits are created by repeating the same actions over and over again, once ingrained we tend to stick to those and only those. Why?

  • We know what we are going to get
  • We know it well, intimately
  • It’s comfortable.

If we go the same way to work everyday, have the same coffee, eat the same food – these habits create comfort in our daily routines, you know what to expect (within reason), you are going to have the same experience.

What if… (Now this may or may not have happened to me)

  • Someone comes along and changes the coffee (heaven forbid)
  • There is a detour on your way to work
  • Your lucky shirt is in the wash

How is your response? Do you get

  • Upset and cranky
  • You are ‘off’ for the whole day
  • Distracted
  • Uncomfortable
  • Anxious

Does it turn your day upside down? One small change in the daily norm – how do you react?

Now the BIG question?

How does this relate to sex? Because

Everything relates to sex and sex is related to everything!

If we do sex like we do the rest of our lives it is usually habitual, narrow and we get flustered if something / someone gets in the way of our one way to be aroused, feel pleasure and have the ultimate orgasm peak.

How is that bad I hear you say?

It is not bad at all (removing judgement), it is wonderful to know ourselves well enough that we can get ourselves off easily.


What happens when you do the same thing over and over…

It is so ingrained it happens automatically and becomes unconscious. Often it loses its appeal and sensitivity and is no longer a challenge for the body, it doesn’t have to adapt to any new stimulus. The body and mind are no longer creating new pleasure pathways. If we want a more expansive outcome we need to change something, go deeper into it, change the position or add something to it.

If we are at the gym, finding squats difficult at first, to master them we need to change something so the body will adapt, make new muscle memory. We can change the position we are in, the way our feet are, add weight, do correct form in order for the body to be challenged and adapt to the new stimulus. The body is amazing and will keep changing and adapting if we keep giving it new experiences.

I don’t think anyone ever mentioned before about building pleasure muscles / pathways or learning how to build arousal, hold it and not just ‘bang it out’. When we build many pleasure pathways, the body has more options to pleasure and potential orgasmicness.

We can choose to take the

SCENIC ROUTE, have plenty of time, stopping at lookouts, enjoying the view, having a picnic, taking in the surroundings

EXPRESS WAY, Intense, fast, most effective route possible

MIX IT UP, Do some of both, a little scenery, la ittle express and maybe you take turns in driving

VARIETY in our lives creates fulfillment over the long term, Keeping it fresh, following what else could be pleasurable what else can I / we explore.

You might be someone that thrives in habits and planning, if so you can lay the foundations of lovemaking and have a general idea of how you will get there with an outline of what the boundaries and timeframes are, the rest will happen naturally – if we allow it, if we allow ourselves to break out of our norms.

Ways to Explore, Mix it up and add Variety

  • Notice what your habits are:
    • Do you have your standard one move
    • Do you only use the tips of your fingers
    • Do you only allow a certain amount of pleasure.
  • Use different parts of your hands on the body and genitals
    • Try using your whole hand, if you only use the tips and vice versa
    • Try different touch pressure, firmer or softer.
  • Slow down, when we have fast action we can override the feelings and sensations taking away our ability to savour, try enjoying every millimetre of your skin, body and genitals. When we slow down our touch, movement, pace it increases our ability to be present, feel, acknowledge, integrate, give feedback (both verbal and non verbal).
  • Breathe, it is something we take for granted, you can use your breath to slow arousal down or speed it up. When we connect with our breath, we stay in the moment, noticing us and our surroundings.
  • Stay present with the sensations in your body, this will be clues to what you like in this moment.
    • Don’t let your mind distract you with fantasy, thoughts. Use your mind to be creative for you ask:
      • “How could this be better”
      • “What would happen if I touched, moved, breathed… this way or that way?”
      • ‘If I was curious, what could happen next”

Moving out of our habits is risky, wouldn’t you agree? How will change affect me, Will I like it?

It is true moving out of our habits is risky yet staying in them might kill us, if only from boredom.

It takes willingness, courage, vulnerability, openness, curiousity to move out of our programmed state. You can start one moment at a time, you can start with changing the way you brush your teeth, being slow when you touch you and your lover, becoming aware of your breath before you engage in activity.

Little actions make big changes, start small  and this will reduce the risk and then keep adding and changing and before you know it this is your new state of being.

UNPROGRAMMED and CURIOUS! (Yes, that could be on a shirt).

Award winning Myola Woods, is an Author, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Sex Educator, International Intimacy Coach.

Myola is a pioneer with courage who bravely speaks about the things that make most of us uncomfortable… Myola will gently lead you out of your comfort zone and into the zone of personal growth and higher self awareness.

Myola specialises in teaching individuals and couples the art of connection, creating and cultivating the choice of arousal, to deepen intimacy, sensation and pleasure … even if it has been a very long time!

As a Sexual being, mother of 4 teenagers and pleasure enthusiast, Myola appreciates the time constraints, daily and social pressures, that can play havoc on our erotic lives. Myola teaches ways to explore and enhance your love making in everyday life. Using techniques and practices that can turn you, and your life, ON.

Take your intimate life from ordinary to extraordinary! Have the orgasms you have read and dreamed about….. YOU deserve them!

So, if you have had enough of mediocre, ready for change and desiring intimacy, connection and arousal, STOP wishing and hoping and START Now! Contact Myola TODAY!. 0423919270

sensuality, love, communication

What Wikipedia can’t tell you about sensuality?

If you rely on Google for your sexual education, you’re likely to already be disappointed with your findings. Studies claim women lose interest in sex before men in long-term relationships. But that can’t be the whole story. Online facts and figures don’t help us figure out why, or how to maintain a delicious, committed, sexually fulfilling relationship. 

Women lose interest in sex due to a lack of intimacy and the feelings of loss of connection. So, is it possible to hold onto these in long-term relationships?

The answer is YES! If both parties are willing to do the work and are willing to take responsibility for their own sensuality, sexuality and connection. Are you willing? Or have you already left? Are you about to be another Wikipedia stat? 

In many societies, women are told that they don’t really need sex, sex is for naughty girls, sex is overrated and we all agree it definitely is if you are only having wham-bam fast intercourse. Women are not encouraged to learn about pleasure – particularly their own. They’re not encouraged to educate themselves about their own sensuality. It’s time to change that.


The way to have a delicious, committed relationship is:

  • to have all of you engaged
    • there is nothing more sexy than showing up as all of you, remember the last time someone was totally there with you… how did you feel? Loved, Appreciated…?
  • spend time being present with each other
    • turn off all distractions, put aside time for each other, listening and being with every cell.
  • enjoy sensual and connection activities other than intercourse –
    • hold hands, play and explore each others faces, hands, walk together, read to each other, do activities that build that connection without it leading anywhere else… keeping the endorphins flowing.
  • being curious with each other
    • Imagine it is the first time you are touching them, being with them pretend you know nothing and allow your curiosity to take over.
  • allowing the relationship to deepen
    • Be willing to take the next steps together, allowing the hurdles that always show up to take you deeper and build more connection and ask yourselves “what would love do?”
  • being vulnerable with each other
    • Ask those questions, be seen in your glory and sadness or unhappiness, being vulnerable is a sign of strength and is long standing way to connect from the heart and emotionally.
  • knowing you are both in – no one is looking for the door (even if it only a sideways glance)
    • when we trust both of us will be there no matter what – we are both committed, to connection and growth we are able to go deep, be vulnerable and have a delicious life together.
  • have fun
    • Above all else have fun, be light, play with each other, remember relationships are enjoyable and bring the best out of one another.

My experience with myself and working with my clients, is once women are turned on from the inside to their innate sensual and sexual being they know (or are on a journey to find out) what they like, how much they like it, they are more confident in their body, they have more self esteem and sexual esteem and they radiate from the inside out.

If you know you want your relationships to have long term satisfaction in all areas and you are tired of being turned off contact me today for a sacred conversation.


Myola Woods is an Author, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Sex Educator, International Intimacy & Relationship Coach and Winner of the Altitude Awards, Rising Star – Brave Award 2018.

Contact Myola TODAY!.


Pre orgasmic to premature


Only a third of women can consistently have orgasms – This means two thirds are unable to consistently have orgasms.

These statistics break my heart, from my work as a Somatic Sex Educator and my own experience I know there is a different way to be with orgasms.

I hear you saying “Myola, why is it all about orgasm” and I would answer “It is NOT all about orgasm when you have the choice for yourself, when you are staying in your body, following the pleasure and sensation, orgasm is often a byproduct… a natural occurrence from these activities, it is when we have NO choice and we are trying it becomes ALL about the orgasm.

‘Pre orgasmic’ is the technical term, a state of being aroused feeling pleasure and not able to reach climax. The pleasure goes around but never to the peak, I knew this state well, it is pleasureable and also frustrating, feels like it can take forever and waiting for that moment to finally get there, finally have that release.

There are many practices that say not to orgasm, to circulate, these techniques are wonderful to play with once you are at choice with your orgasms and you can choose yes or no. The difference of having no choice is exactly that it does not feel like freedom it feels like frustration.

From pre-orgasmic to premature…

Extremes is somewhere I like to live, for a while where I was a 30 second wonder and mostly I was happy with that, I was done. I have had 4 children, I had 3 under 5 years old during this time I had many experiences with orgasmicness, non orgasmicness, from never coming to super fast.. neither of these felt very satisfying long term or meant I actually knew what I was doing, or my body and I were connected and on the same page.

How did we get here?  Often, we are told Women are more difficult to turn on, more difficult to become aroused, more difficult in general…. Society tells women they shouldn’t like sex – they should be sexy for sure and be objectified but to LIKE, LOVE, DESIRE sex well that’s not ladylike… Bull shit is what I say!

Women are amazing sexual creatures that we hide, to have a full orgasmic life means we need to be fully in life.  We need to be comfortable in our bodies, know them, explore them and let ourselves have and receive pleasure.

Orgasms do amazing healing, cleaning, recalibration of our being and bodies, from improved pelvic health (less incontinence and slight bladder leak) from the increased blood flow and contractions, to the feelings of wellbeing from the hormones being released, to a state of complete relaxation and feeling bliss from your fight, flight or freeze being turned off.

Orgasm School…

It might seem a bit weird to have a sex coach or learn about orgasms, most of us have had poor or little education from school, society, Hollywood or well meaning friends but they are likely to be retrieving information from the same source of misinformation you were exposed to!… If you wanted to have your hair styled for a special event, would you go to your friends/best friend or a qualified hairdresser?… I am qualified to help women experience orgasm.

When I teach women about orgasms, I have strategies and techniques that are proven from me and my clients to work and efficiently with practice to move YOU to YOUR next level of orgasmicness…. These are steps that navigate you through the unknown and safely into your known orgasmic life.

I have an upcoming Orgasm Online Webinar Series, for all levels, from the basics to expanding to ejaculating, if you are intrigued and already having an orgasm, I will help you have more orgasms…If you are not having any orgasms, I will help you to start having orgasms… contact me today for a sacred conversation.

Myola Woods is an Author, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Sex Educator, International Intimacy & Relationship Coach and Winner of the Altitude Awards, Rising Star – Brave Award 2018.

Contact Myola TODAY!.

No. 1 Reason for pain involved with sex revealed!

Guest Blogging for Micki Allen, she is delightful, I feel very blessed.
Have a read and let me you if you agree or not?  I would love to hear from you.

Click here to read now.

If you know you want your relationships to have long term satisfaction in all areas and you are tired of being turned off contact me today for a sacred conversation.

One good orgasm or multiple orgasms??

What do YOU choose? And what IS the big Deal??

We Don’t Know what we Don’t know….

When I as woman unable to climax ( I felt pleasure and orgasmic energy ), when I wanted…. unable to let go….. uneducated in the ways of arousal, nervous systems and techniques….. thought it was someone’s responsibility…. unable to get out of my own way, I knew there was more AND I had NO idea how to get there …. I sort help…. I practiced …. I got educated!!

At the time I thought there was something WRONG with me, as I can be known to do…. society says it’s easy!! Must be me all by myself struggling to climax…. !!! No one would understand me……

When people meet me or see me presenting at a festival or expo often tell me that they are ok…. they are all good in the sex department….. in the beginning I smiled, said great and curiously asked myself….. it is interesting that they come to tell me they are all good…

I don’t go to the Doctor and say I am well or to fruit shop and say I have plenty of apples…. don’t need those…….

Could it be that we don’t know what we don’t know…..  and we are afraid to ask incase we have been missing out!! Then what do we do…. ? If this gorgeous woman (me) tells them there is more orgasmic potential, more sensation, more pleasure to be had…… my story will be a lie!!!

I was asked this week…. ” i don’t need multiple orgasms, I am pretty happy with my one good orgasm, how much better could multiple ones be?”

I answered with a grin the size of the sun…… “oh my…… they are awesomely fantastic!”

Sometimes we think we have to give up something….. why would I replace little multiple orgasms instead of one good big one. For me it’s not about giving up anything…. it’s about EXPANSION, value adding and what else is possible?

What if you could have big multiple orgasms…. small orgasms…. intense orgasms…. subtle orgasms….. ? ( I could go on ) Increased your RANGE of orgasms!!

O R G A S M M A S T E R Y!!

You could choose your orgasm…. which will I have now….. hmmm smorgasbord of orgasms….. delicious ……. hmmmm which will I have now….. and now …… and and N O W??

If you would like to expand your orgasm menu, message me now and let the orgasms begin!!

If you know others interested in Orgasm

Mastery, tag them below, share so we can all feel more orgasmic!

What is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker?

Sexological bodywork is a pioneering profession which assists people to become more aware of their bodies and to connect more with their erotic, sensual and sexual selves. This is done through a variety of methods including; information sharing, teaching body awareness exercises (involving breath, sound and movement) and massage/bodywork to increase awareness of sensation and pleasure in the body.

Sexological bodywork is about working with you to pass on life-changing skills that will empower you to take charge of your own sexualness and sexual life.

It is the sex education we never received!

Areas which can be covered:
Increase your intimacy skills
Increase your body awareness, knowledge and capacity
Issues of low or non-existent libido

Find your mojo and connect it with your sexy soulful self

Erectile difficulty
Inability to orgasm, solo or partnered
Expanding your orgasm potential
Scar tissue remediation (from childbirth or other surgery)
Pelvic pain remediation
Anal awareness, for health and consciousness
Prostate massage
Taoist Erotic Massage
Self -pleasuring skills
Erotic awareness practices

Making Love becoming your meditation practice
Overcoming early ejaculation
Moving through sexual trauma and shame

Communication skills

Knowing and owning your likes, desires and how to ask and be heard.

10 Years NO Sex….

Hasn’t had PARTNERED sex in 10 YEARS!!

Could This happen to YOU?

What are the reasons we put our pleasure off? Someday I will have it?

I have more and more clients that haven’t had sex in a very long time some more than 10 years…..

I really get the sense that it starts off with good intentions, my last relationships were not so good so I will focus on developing myself spiritually, personal development work, self help seminars, chakras, past lives, meditation and more…..

Wanting to be different and somewhere amongst the all they became lost in keeping people at bay, being socially happy, whilst underneath they are busy holding all the balls under the water so they don’t escape, the sadness stays hidden, their desire dwindles and they decide intimacy is not for me ( Consciously or unconsciously ) who needs it, more trouble than it’s worth.

Any chance YOU have thought this?

I am not suggesting a life of celibacy is terrible if that is what you choose.

These people are not choosing this, they say they would like to have partnered intimacy and love. Somewhere they choose all or nothing if I can’t have it all then NOTHING it is.

Not wanting to risk being hurt or being wrong! Wanting too much!!

Over these years of little intimacy they have lost their:

  • Body confidence
  • Mojo
  • Memory
  • Desire
  • Openness
  • Curiosity

Often replaced with:

  • Walls of…. steel / wire / rock
  • Chained gates
  • Denial
  • Contraction
  • Closed interactions
  • Amour

When people come to see me from this place there is usually lots of healing, sadness, regret, guilt, all the feelings they have been hiding.

So putting in perspective that 10 years that’s more than 3652 days of

no intimate touch,

no snuggling on the lounge,

no deep kissing,

no quickies,

no longies……

The clients that seek me out are wanting it all they want a deep loving Conscious relationship!!

They know to have significant change they need to be and do something significant over time, someone to be accountable to, so they can commit to their intimate lives, not give up and STOP listening to the stories in their head.

Maybe it’s not 10 years….. if it has been too long with NO intimacy there is hope…. you do not have to wait any longer.

If the time is ripe….. if the time is NOW!

If you are committed with your time, tenacity, transformation, financially and have decided It’s YOUR time then message me today because you deserve sexual wholeness.

Pleasure, LOVE in MOTION !!

There is a place beyond you and me….. I’ll meet you there…. Rumi

When we connect with someone on a deep soul level our sex and our love making become transformational experiences.

A place where the ego is dropped, the masks disappear and raw vulnerability lies, the juiciness of aliveness and the death of ways of incongruous being are no longer supported.

When the body heals through pleasure it is the bodies choice…. not our minds …. not even our hearts ….. because the body has those memories of trauma, grief, loss, abuse in the cells…. often we trap both the perceived good and not so……

If we allow ourselves our love making can heal us from the inside out….. it can be a place where the body feels safe, feels open with pleasure rather than pain or “pushing through” it’s the body making the choices, it’s the body leading, the body awakens releases and chooses different because it feels it’s time. This does not always look pretty and it is always altering of the way we be. When we let pleasure have its way with us….. we are never the same!!!!!!!

When I had my paradigm shift from pain to pleasure I realised lots of my body contractions were stored caused by pain of some description, both from the self and others.

As time progressed and my body opened more to the idea and the actualisation of pleasure it became freer internally and externally. I was gaining FREEDOM by receiving, allowing and having more pleasure in my life…..

It also meant I grieved long standing parts of me, my life and being as they came to an end. As I was more there were and continue to be parts that die away and sometimes I have been very comfortable, die away and sometimes I have been very comfortable, like my favorite chair that knows my ass and what it likes and there is sadness and wonder will my new chair, will there even be a chair, will it be as good…. oh dear what if I make a mistake??

Pleasure for me is LOVE

  • Love in motion
  • Love in feeling
  • Love in sensation
  • Love in action

In the same way love can be many things …..

  • Gentle
  • Kind
  • Forgiving
  • Fierce
  • Strong
  • Relentless
  • Giving
  • Receiving
  • Mutually receptive

SO is pleasure…….

As life progresses, I become more love, more pleasure and my life changes. My body and I make different choices.

If you allowed your sex to be transformative…… what could change ? What choices could be different?

What would it take to let pleasure have its way with YOU?

Pleasure, LOVE in MOTION !!

ORGASMs!!! Yes I said it!

We all want them….

If we are having them we desire more?

If we are not…. we want them….

If they are alluding…. we are trying to catch them….

If they are powerful ….. we long for them…

If they ARE intense…. we crave them…..

If they are in our genitals…. we want more….

If they are all over our bodies…. oo la la…. we shiver with ANT IC I PATION…..

If they are in our cervix…. we are healing, for us, woman, souls and the planet…..

If they are in our G-spot …. we open, we grieve, we weep, the waters flow and flow.

There are many types of orgasms plenty more than mentioned above.

I am never quite sure how much to share about orgasms……

Once upon a time there was a little girl who liked to grind, she liked to look, very sensitive by nature with the heart of innocence.

At some point she realised all is not golden people are not always trustworthy and knowing can be a burden, she lost her connection with the physical and with humans. The spirit world was safe, comforting and free of humans.

She learned many ways here…. the ways of Shaman, the ways of cosmos in it’s many forms and creations and dimensions. Flitting the world spreading fairy dust and moving on.

One day the Universe spoke to her and said you have learnt all you can for now! You must go be with the humans.

After much heartache, she maneuvers her way with the humans…. there is much to learn, one being how does have the same ecstatic experiences with sex and sexual energy as you do with convert sex with god and the universe? There lays the question? Was it possible??

As time moved on she practiced and practiced solo and partnered, learnt many techniques, styles and theories.

Biggest thing she learnt was to be her own best lover because from there she could be and do anything. This gave her confidence in her knowing, behavior and enthusiasm.

When she owned her orgasm on every single level she was magnanimous because no one can take it, she can share it generously with unexpected and often wild possibilities, she can keep it inside and savour or heal and she can send it out in ripples of the universe and create heaven on earth.

Yes SHE is me, Myola Violet Woods one who can orgasm with no touch, one that has deep ecstatic states of consciousness, one who has clitoral orgasms on the fly!

SHE could be YOU!

Share with someone today and spread the orgasmic love, send me your comments and like below.


You Deserve to Have a Fulfilling, EnJoyable SEXlife? Are you stepping UP?

How can it be that you have success in nearly all areas but you still want more? Do you have the courage to move past your expectations, are you brave enough to make the necessary changes to never have that uneasy, empty and alone whilst surrounded by people again, because you can!

As someone that works in the intimate realms of the body and universe, I have discovered many more possibilities that are available to us. I know these discoveries work because they have changed my life, and they can yours!

Often we get stuck in the same old, I know I have, thinking it will get better…. does that ever happen…… considering ……..

If a garden is left un-maintained, it becomes overgrown and full of weeds

If a shower is left it grows mound…. fast!

NO one wants weeds or mould!

Remember YOUR love, sex and intimate Life Are YOUR responsibility!

  • You want to be in love with life and your partner!
  • You want to have painless, orgasmic Sex!
  • You desire to be seen in your sexual wholeness!

Being held in your sexual wholeness is the change you are asking for.

  • The deep satisfaction of knowing your body.
  • The generosity of abundant orgasms.
  • Being touched in ways that your skin tingles for hours.
  • Bring sensuality to being part of your life everyday.

Have you had enough of not feeling enough?

Have you been sitting on your orgasmic potential long enough.

Your body is calling you? Life is calling YOU? Are you hearing the call?

Are you ready?

Are you ready for a deep, intimate, succulent relationship?

Are you ready to move out of your comfort zone, ready to dive into those vulnerable places were the gold is hidden and transform it into your life.

Are you ready to make love to life? Are you ready to experience more pleasure, sensation and wholeness.