Scar Tissue / Pain associated with sex
Hello Wonderful Explorers
I do hope this finds you erotically well, full of life and living.
As I like to always be learning and growing, I attended a workshop with an Amazing Being, Ellen Heed from the United States. I have learnt Anatomy and Physiology many times over my years and she would be the most inspirational teacher I have ever had. She makes me want to get the text books out and then palpate them in the physical to bring the theory into practice – Yes as I said she is amazing.
So with more deep learning on the pelvis, scar tissue and arousal inhibitors I am reminded how much I adore this work and how much we persevere with or put up with hoping that one day it will change. Pain during sex or arousal is not a necessity and can result from scar tissue. Causes include: operations, child birth, episiotomies, c section scars, tearing or stitches. Scar tissue reduces engorgement and blood flow which in turn can reduce sensation, pleasure and desire.
Also, if we think we are going to have painful sex then we usually don’t want to have sex or be sensual or play and it can become very narrowing in our erotic lives. No need for despair or discomfort, there are many ways we can work with scar tissue to start to increase blood flow and increase possibilities of more feeling and MOST of all less or no pain.
I always knew there must have been more, more to life and definitely more to sex. Being an energy being and a cosmic junkie when I did earth meditations / healings I often shook and had what I would now call cosmic orgasms. Over the past years I have embodied those experiences to be physically multi orgasmic and yes they are extremely cosmic and more importantly fun, fun, fun.
I have realised that most people just want pleasure during sex or at least no pain and to contemplate having an orgasm in each cell of the body is a little hard to fathom – luckily for all of us we can meet where you are at and expand from there.
If arousal, scar tissue or erotic embodiment is something you would like to work with me to improve.
From Tight to Blossoming
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Anais Nin
There comes a time when we have had enough of our lives as they are and we need to make a change, we need to ask for more: more life, more freedom, more challenges, more growth, more depth, more openness, more authenticity, more love, more kindness, and more gentleness. How do the people around us respond or react when we make a change? Do they move along, join the new tango or do they stay in the old two-step? Do they stop and judge, and say you shouldn’t want more and ask what is wrong with what you have right here.
In our lives is it okay to settle, tolerate, and hope beyond hope something will change - stay small, keep the peace, stay comfortable, stay safe and not step out of the self defined box and habits. When we bring awareness and allowance to our self defined box and habits we can blossom to natural change in our environment and relationships.
In many ways our sexuality and intimate lives replicate this. I remember one of my teachers saying go where the “Yes’s” are Myola, this is pioneering work and don’t try and convince the No’s. Follow the Yes’s. For a long time I applied this to my work and professional life which improved remarkably, became fun, grew and continues to develop. Then one day I had a realisation that another step would be to apply this to my personal life and go with the “Yes’s” i.e. go with the people that supported, encouraged, loved, had my back, did what they said they would do, laughed, cried, met me on multiple levels and enjoyed and saw me exactly as I am. Suddenly the people who didn’t, seemed to stand out like ………. A neon light. This realisation led me to make some changes within my world.
My personal and professional life are always fluid and are becoming more congruent all the time. I continue to ask and sense where the “Yes’s” are. It is no longer okay for me to be with people who are only okay with some of me, and the added bonus of this is that it seems to actualise in the world as well.
Where in your life are you remaining tight as a bud?
Where is it time to blossom?
What can then happen is the sweet spot, the ripeness where the flower moves from tight to blossoming with ease, possibly birthed with guidance from someone experienced in the art of blossoming and birthing.
I have many ways of assisting people from tight as a bud to blossoming in their own way and time. Some of them are listed below and if you would like to discuss your specific area of tightness please contact me.
An erotic life everyday?
We are often told that eroticness and sexualness is wrong. If we are essentially created by sexual / erotic energy could we say that it is our natural essence and innate way of being and possibly we have forgotten? How could we bring the erotic into everyday life?
What gets in the way of your erotic life? __________________ (fill in the blank). Is it work, kids, parents, health, money, time, partner, no partner, there are a myriad of reasons or distractions from living our erotic lives possibly our innate way of being.
What would change in your life if you asked yourself everyday………… What can I do today to contribute to my erotic life and living?
Go ahead ask yourself now……What stories does your mind tell you? Does your mind make it significant does it make a big deal or does it just go blank? Is it all about the genitals? Does it have to be difficult?
Below is a gentle meditation to begin?
What if it could be touching your arm with presence, sit comfortably and begin to notice your body, intending to be present with your arm, noticing your breathing, touching slow, slower and could you touch even slower and what is it you notice?
What is happening to your touch, What is happening with your arm? What if you spent a few minutes every day with you with yourself? How would you day be?
Would you interact differently with your partner?
Our erotic lives depend on us – could yours do with an upgrade?